This afternoon i was at Derek's house, a nice little two-bed semi just along the way. I sat down and he offered me a cup of tea. I would love one, i responded. It did not take long for the kettle to boil and there my tea was sitting in front of me, warm and inviting.
I took a sip........not Early Grey, not Twinings, but of course P.G. Tips...i raised this issue with Derek, who stated that a cup of tea is a cup of tea, and there is no difference in one or the other.
I took another sip and a sweet sugary taste met my lips and made me wince like i had just bit into a lemon. Did you stir this? i asked Derek. No, he replied.
I was not impressed, and for another ten minutes i had to suffer the mental, and physical torture of drinking a cup of tea that i could only describe as very very rubbish.
Later on while we were watching Midsomer Murders on VHS Derek asked me what was wrong with his tea. I responded by giving him a long list which roughly centred around its weakness, the lack of milk and the strength of the sugar, combined with the diminishing warmth of the tea as it got towards the end of the cup, even though I had drank it relatively quickly.
Apparently he initially poured cold water into the cup. That's not the way to make tea Derek. Making a cup of tea is an intricate art. It requires knowledge, timing, determination and the will to produce a little trinket of gold for you to enjoy in your own personal time.
Derek had lacked the timing, his knowledge could not be denied, but frankly put i think i have more determination than him in this circumstance.
When i left he seemed despondent, i was pleased that my barracking off him would have a positive effect in the future, and i could go ahead and look forward to tea at Derek's from now on.
I hope Rick Wakeman likes tea, i would judge him if he didn't.
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